सिध्द विचार

It took little over a month to realize that I missed my monthly blog update. Actually I was waiting to post result of something interesting that I have been pursuing for over a year now.  Deadline was approaching and I was all smiles. I knew this can’t go wrong as it was foolproof. Excitement was in the air and future looked bright. Though nothing was in hand except hope and hope and yet another hope, it kept me engaged throughout. In other words, I chose to be that way until I realized that I was made to believe in hopeless hope that it was. The hope had been lost long ago in ego war between two stalwart from the private and public office respectively. It seemed to have no end. Unfortunately there are no weapons to fight such wars. Now as I wake up from the dream of hope I see that hard effort is gradually turning into a hard to recall memory that keeps vanishing in thin air. A full blowing fan in the next corner pushes it past windows while my head reels around.

What next? It was a dream and I am woken up now to feel and understand the worldly realities. Of course it is hard to accommodate with the reality of life. While it is painful to not to get something despite a hard work put in and having left no stone unturned to win that, I realize that I only did what I could. Even though my efforts did not materialize productively in this particular project, I am delighted that I did my best and am very happy to have done what I did. Rewards of my action are not under my control. So be it. But I must confess that this exercise was not fruitless as it appears to be. It made me more matured in many ways. It was a good learning experience. Though lessons learned don’t get you paychecks or another project in the private sector it certainly helps at individual level. I have realized that I emerged as a better manager, more knowledgeable about the subject matter than I was before and more optimistic about future then ever before. A very hard on the job training indeed!

Issues that capture the essence of my learning or say lessons learned vary in content and range. Such as:

Opposite poles may be attracting each other but opposite beliefs and value systems repel.  What matters to whom and why has very little to do with rationality. While entrepreneurs need to understand their limits, public managers need trainings in many disciplines including philosophy. That is to say, should one be committing crime just because the law is on his side? What you value most may be insignificant to others and vice versa. Ego of individual comes in between his decision making regardless of the scale of consequences. How does one separate right from wrong, rationalize judgmental behavior in the public office?

I also realize that all of the actions in our ordinary lives are hope oriented. Hope keeps us alive and progressing. Only some actions fructify. How true Bhagwat Gita is in its teaching “Karmanyeva Adhikarste ma phaleshu kadachana”.